This means to be as much of a thesis as a declaration of my feeling of me.
I FEEL THAT LIFE IS PURPOSEFUL, THAT IN NO WAY COULD IT BE BETTER EVER, THAT IT IS ALWAYS AS IT HAS TO BE IN THAT PRECISE MOMENT OF YOUR TIME AND SPACE.
By purposeful I mean not that there's an end waiting and calling from a far away lost future, that finding that out and the means to reach it is what we should pursue; but other that we should be faithful in the Now, in the relevance of this moment for our Path - even if we're not sure where It is leading us or even where we would like It to take us.
I feel and know that Life is purposeful now, that there's no such thing as a coincidence, and I say this not only because of my readings which do help me to keep the spirit and most of all find the right words for it (e.g.: Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle here mentioned before), but mostly because I´VE BEEN HAVING THIS UNEXPLAINABLE BUT HIGHLY MOTIVATING FEELING OF SINCHRONICITY FOR MANY YEARS NOW.
Life has been proving to me time after time that things don't happen by some random reason, your life and mine and the world aren't rulled by change but by a superior collective and inter (actually: "inner")-connected matrix and conscience that makes every minute meaningful and every decision determinant.
In my long arguments about this over the years, the most common OBJECTION I hear is that what I am saying is that I believe in destiny, "right"? So what space does that leave for free-will, I am asked.
The other one was how could I then explain so much disgrace in the world if there is actually this wheel of major purpose underlying all that is done of this place we share with all nature.
Well, I must say the first point was a problem to me for a while when I thought that non-coincidence might not be reconcilable with the denial of a full predestination, a master-plan designated for you irrespective of your power of will or conscience, basically a decision prior to your own acts and mental dispositions covering your whole existence - I don't believe in that.
- ... then the word "believe" comes in. This word seems to allow doubt in too as it leaves space for factual proving of the opposite... if only research could ever collect spiritual data! (BELIEF IS WHAT KEEPS MANY GOING SO IT MAY BE A BLISS AS IT MAY BE AN IGNORANCE-VEIL.) Dogmas and book-based religions often tried to turn faith matters into sets of rules for followers: the only thing they managed was to empty the creeds of its meaningful power of making people reach and think beyond their own ego's. Now they promote ego's, leading to catastrophic fanatic disconnected ways of being in the world, to people living in fear and spreading monstruous feelings.
It was difficult to keep my thesis also when I still labelled happenings as good and bad seen from a micro perspective and thus found no possible bigger reason for so many records of human suffer in history. I am not saying I have it all sorted out, say the least that massive massacres and other unforgivable human-planned events or natural catastrophes were justified or are now justifiable but YES that I believe there is a macro-structure, a macro-world evolution that somehow could use those "tortuous lines" to write its story, teach its lessons, lead its way.
But there are 2 certainties I have now:
- 1 is that SINCHRONICITY (OR NON-COINCIDENCE) IS A MATTER BEYOND OUR CONCEPTUAL MIND-FRAMES OF TIME AND SPACE (Katherine helped me solve this cross-road I was at, thanks so much for dissolving the conceptual knot, Kat), this "conspiracy" works way beyond the limited variables we use to measure and catalogue our rational experience, it's another sort of matrix (the unexplicable connectedness that makes you find your soul-mate, "randomly" meet just the person you needed or get a phone-call from the person that had just crossed your mind). This matrix links all existence into one big purposeful evolution & connection-oriented world, and it influences small scale events as the ones described as it determines the meaningful ways in which each person's life evolves and the way they link to one another in highly relevant "productive" ways. WE'RE ALL A CONTRIBUTING PART OF THIS COLLECTIVE CONSCIENCE THAT HAS BEEN EVOLVING WITH THE WORLD, that's just for a start how relevant each one of us is.
- THE OTHER CERTAINTY I HAVE IS OF THE TRUTH OF THIS, IT'S AN INNER POSITIVENESS, AN INSIGHT I FEEL OF THE TRUTH, so you can say it's a mere belief but I have just about all the proofs in my daily life of this that I used to call "my star"... And for the sake of this testemony and my happy life, I need to go no further.
You may be asking: but what do you gain from that? what does that add to your life? why are you even mentioning that? "i don't feel that. i have no idea. actually, i don't even care."
What all this makes to me is to believe profoundly in THE POWER OF NOW, OF THIS NARROW YET FULL OF POTENTIAL PLACE WHERE THE COUNTABLE AND THE UNCONTABLE VARIABLES REUNITE IN YOUR HANDS. It makes me be aware of signs, of non-coincidences, of messages hiden in that much more subtle realm that lies between the lines of the happenings in my days.
It makes me feel joyful and trustfull and CONFIDENT THAT I AM WHERE I HAVE TO BE - and not because I aim there, hereby living with an anxious heart on the future, on that expectation, suffering with antecipation; or otherwise hanging to the past, re-living situations that are impossible to change and grieving in non-action and self-pity or self-punishment or acusation.
It makes me active, alert and trustful in me and all humans, all of us who have potential to go beyond our conditioning, our labelling and our collectively repeated behaviours - to reach out to a higher consciousness of ourselves and all that of living and non-living that surrounds us.
And it makes me feel no longer in fight inside. I feel peacened, I feel no fear as to what may come as I am sure of its relevance in my way. Most of the times I do actually manage to live my words and not worry, just be happy. And I do actually get glimpses of sublime moments as I purposedly stop or at least manage to slow down the pace of my mind (our mind often just produces rubish that leads to no positive attitude or disposition but to time-bound hanging to something other then your present reality). THESE MOMENTS OF CONNECTEDNESS (medidative states some currents would call it) ARE SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL YOU CAN GET IN LIFE: THAT'S WHEN YOU'RE MOST CONSCIOUS AND YOU CAN DETECT AND PRODUCE TRUE BEAUTY.
Am I talking about enlightenment? An approach to it maybe at this level that is realizable by any human being. I speak of nothing extraordinary, but only of withdrawing yourself from the viscious cycles of thought, prejudice and unconscious behaviours and live your presence, live and indulge in your SELF.
You'll never be any more fuller in your true self than you are right now, so leave it not for later - when maybe on an outer level you'll be richer or may have accumulated some more of someTHING: wealth, body fitness, belongings, clothes, job position, social status, you name it - but you'll be no more full inside. You're just about everything you may wish for on a spiritual level already: just access that inside you and clean yourself from outerly-build worries, demands, pressures, release yourself from the dependency on pain and the "stories" upon which you insist on creating your identity. LIVE FULLY. It's really your choice.
What does this conscience make me? I FEEL GRATEFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE.
